If MacBook Pro's came as cheap as tennis racquets then you can be damn sure I would already have sent plenty crashing to their deaths on the floor of the Daniels College of Business. It's no secret that I keep finding ways to get worked up, reasons to be stressed, problems to exercise my expletives and situations to give people the eye roll/head shake that has become something of a trademark. And sure, to some of my b-school colleagues this all can be a bit off-putting.
But there IS a secret. Behind the eye rolls and expletives I'm moving forward and making a whole lot of progress. From internships to exchange programs, group projects to graduate research, retooling to refining; The problems keep coming and I keep knocking then down.
A friend recently marveled that I manage to do all this in spite of all the extra stress I create. What he didn't realize that I get all of this done BECAUSE of it. Getting worked up feeds my fire. The fire stokes the engine and the engine chugs right on through. Today it hit me: I might very well be the John McEnroe of the DCB. I use the frustrated energy to outperform on a daily basis.
First my mind will turn onto a detail that just feels wrong for some known or unknown reason. Something that seems inconsequential or unchangeable to everyone else. Next I'll mutter incessantly about it under my breath. Then I'll increase the volume to see if I can spread the virus of malcontent elsewhere. Then, I'll roll it over in my mind until it because so overbearing that it must be fixed. Not just fixed, but fixed NOW!
Next comes the brow furrowing and, though from the outside all looks calm, inside a war is raging while thoughts are rapidly approaching a tipping point. Then, just before I fly off the handle, smashing computers and making children cry (We won't count that 4-1 student in my group crying last year, will we?) I take all that energy and channel into the task at hand.
Sure, it's not the most efficient method nor is it always sustainable. But for now, when I need to innovate, to break the mold, to escape the trap of mediocrity, I'll take the fire over ashes any day.
The challenges don't stop but I'm still standing saying, "That's nice, keep 'em coming."
OK, that's not exactly what I say but but next time you hear me seeth, "Those $%#$ing #$#$%ed %#@#$#ing #*$@%$ers" just pretend it's another "that's nice, keep it coming."
Cool as a cucumber,